I have trained specifically to work with clients on many different types of relationship issues.

These may be issues within your romantic relationship, with family, friends, at work, or anywhere else.

Many people I see would like to find a romantic relationship, or break unhelpful patterns that are getting in the way of them making healthy relationship choices.

My training and skills in Relationship Therapy aren’t an ‘add-on’ to generic counselling.

I aim to provide a warm, compassionate and professional service. I am non- judgmental in my approach. I really care about my clients.

I have a specific, specialised interest in relationships and how to help clients facilitate the relationships they want to have.

I have been practicing as a Relationship Therapist since 2012, as a volunteer at Relate, and for 11 years in private practice.

For individuals, we would meet, and you would tell me about what’s bringing you to counselling.

What would it look like each week? You might talk about whatever you would like to- however big or small it feels for you. What ever feels, ‘on top’ of your list that day.

I’d be asking you questions, and offering reflections which would ideally help you understand yourself and your situation better.

As the weeks go by, when things come up in your everyday life, you may fret less about situations, because you can leave it to discuss it with me in your next counselling session.

During this process, you would hopefully get closer to getting the outcome from counselling that you wish for.

For couples, we’d meet together to explore what you’d like to get from counselling. Then I’d see each of you for a confidential session on your own.

We’d then meet together from then on. We might create goals for the therapy, if you’d like to, so we all know what you’re moving towards.

Each week we would discuss what ever you need to. I have tools and ideas to offer you too.

That’s not a problem. You don’t have to return for sessions if you feel I’m not quite right for your needs. I really believe that you need to find the right counsellor for you.

Each person/ couple can have a bespoke number of sessions for their needs.

We will generally realise at the same time that you are ready to finish. It might be that you don’t have much to say in the sessions any more, and that your life feels better.

Getting started is simple. Reach out through my contact form or schedule a call—I’ll walk you through the next steps and answer any questions along the way.

No. I do not talk with anyone about what you talk about. Sessions are confidential.

There are only 2 exceptions to this:

1). I discuss my cases in my clinical supervision, but names and identities are changed.

2). If you disclose that you-or someone else- is in danger of serious harm.

Very occasionally, I will end the counselling.

I may ethically need to end your (couple’s) therapy sessions if:

1.     I/ we believe that the relationship progress has stalled and efforts to restart progress aren’t working.

2.     Ideas, questions, reflections, suggestions, interventions, etc, from the sessions, don’t seem to be ‘landing,’ enough to enable change.

3.     One person doesn’t make enough changes to their own contribution to the couple’s problems. This will prevent any progress for the couple.

4.     There is persistent discharging of anger, blame, criticism, emotional dysregulation in the sessions from one partner, and not enough personal responsibility being taken for it.

5.     I/ we don’t feel that the dynamic between the couple/ towards myself, is productive or consistently respectful enough.

6.     Any kind of physically or volatile or emotionally abusive behaviour is present.

Yes, absolutely.

Yes absolutely. There is no set number of sessions.

I use the terms interchangeably. There is no difference, in my opinion.

I do not judge my clients.

I believe we are all doing our best, even when we do things that are destructive or which sabotage our relationships.

However, I only work with clients who’s actions are within the law.

No, I do not take any details about who your doctor is, or contact third parties about you without your permission.

I believe that it is not ethical to ask clients to do this for me.

I am providing a service for them- not the other way around.

No. In my opinion, it is not safe or ethical to have counselling together if there has been any abusive behaviour.

This includes any physical or emotional abuse.

What might emotionally abusive behaviour look like?

·       Shouting at partner/ therapist

·       Belittling partner/ putting them down

·       Personal insults/ labelling / name- calling/ volatility

·       Persistent interrupting/ talking over partner or therapist

·       Angry, intimidating tone or body language

·       One partner doesn’t feel able to be honest about how they feel in the sessions for fear of the other partner’s reaction, (inside or outside of the session).

No. I don’t have training beyond general relationship issues.

I am not a crisis counsellor, and I don’t have expertise in medically diagnosed or undiagnosed mental health conditions.

Yes you can.

I hold an MA (with Distinction) in Relationship Therapy, from the Relate Institute (Hull University).

I have been practicing as a Relationship therapist since 2012.

I was a school teacher for over 30 years and an Art Therapist.

Yes, I work online, on the phone, or in person- whichever suits you best.

Therapeutic Approaches I Use

My initial Relate training grounded me in both the Systemic and Psychodynamic models, bridged by Attachment theory:

•       The Systemic model helps us understand ourselves, our beliefs, and our behaviours within the systems we are part of - family, work, school, friendships, and wider society.

•       The Psychodynamic model helps us understand our thoughts and behaviour in the context of our past experiences, often enabling a gradual and increasing self-awareness.

•       Attachment theory explores how we form bonds, and how ruptures in those bonds can be understood and repaired.

I also draw on CBT, Relational Therapy, Transactional Analysis, Solution-Focused Therapy, Narrative Therapy, Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT), Gottman methods, Compassion-Focused Therapy, and more.

PRIVACY POLICY

Secure Storage

Your information is stored a safe and ethical manner in line with EU General Data Protection Regulations May 2018.

The data you have given me in the initial session is stored anonymously. It is stored separately to any paperwork you have signed, to avoid the two being linked. In accordance with my confidentiality statement, none of your data will be shared with other people without your consent, unless you or someone else is in danger of serious harm; or if I was obliged by law, for instance if there was a threat of terrorism, money laundering, or drug trafficking.

Your emails and phone numbers are stored on locked devices and will be deleted when no longer needed.

Right to Access

You have the right to ask for a copy of your personal information free of charge, in paper format, (your information is not stored electronically). You also have the right to ask me to amend or change any incorrect information about you.

Right to be Forgotten

You have the right to ask me to erase any information that I hold about you. This includes your personal information that is no longer relevant to original purposes, or if you wish to withdraw consent. In all cases and when considering such requests, these rights are obligatory unless it’s information that I have a legal obligation to retain.

Data Portability

As the client, you have the right to receive your personal information which you previously provided, and also have the right to transfer that information to another party. For the purposes of the General Data Protection Regulations (GDPR) 2018, the data “controller” is Ruth Murtagh of Ruth Murtagh Counselling.

Please feel free to ask if you want further information. Thank you.